Glossary

Every term, in plain language

91 kink and BDSM terms, defined briefly and without judgment. Where a guide goes deeper, it's linked under the term.

Full guides Drop D/s Safeword Subspace

24/7 Dynamics: A dynamic that runs through everyday life rather than switching off after a scene. Even 24/7 arrangements rest on ongoing consent and can be renegotiated or ended.
Aftercare Headspace: The care partners give each other after a scene or intense intimacy: water, warmth, reassurance and a check-in on how everyone feels. Needs differ from person to person, so it's worth agreeing before you play. Read: BDSM aftercare: what it is and how to ask for it
BDSM Dynamics: An umbrella term covering bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. People use it loosely for kink in general; what unites it is informed, mutual consent. Read: Dom, sub or switch? BDSM roles and dynamics explained
Bondage Play: Restraining someone, with rope, cuffs, tape or simply instructions to stay still. The appeal can be physical, visual or psychological, and safety depends on circulation, nerve awareness and a quick way out.
Bottom Roles: The person receiving the action in a scene, such as being tied or spanked. Bottoming is about the activity, not the power: a bottom isn't necessarily submissive.
Brat Roles: A submissive who expresses their side of the dynamic through playful resistance, teasing and cheek rather than straightforward obedience. It works when both people enjoy the game.
Brat tamer Roles: A dominant who enjoys the back-and-forth with a brat and bringing them back into line, playfully and within agreed limits.
Breath play Play: Any play that restricts breathing. It is widely considered among the most dangerous activities in kink, because harm can happen quickly and without warning, and many people treat it as a permanent hard limit. See: Edge play
Check-in Consent & safety: A brief pause to ask how someone is doing, during or after a scene. "Color?" is a common shorthand, with partners answering green, yellow or red.
CNC (consensual non-consent) Play: Pre-negotiated role play in which resistance is part of an agreed scenario. Everything is agreed in advance, including limits and how to stop for real, and it calls for a high level of trust and experience.
Collaring Dynamics: A ritual, sometimes with an actual collar, that marks a committed D/s relationship. Its meaning varies from couple to couple, a bit like an engagement for some and a private symbol for others.
Consent Consent & safety: A clear, freely given, informed and ongoing agreement to take part in something. Consent can be withdrawn at any time, and it can't be given by someone who is pressured, impaired or unable to communicate.
Consent violation Consent & safety: When a limit, safeword or agreement is ignored. It is serious, it is never the fault of the person it happened to, and support is available from trusted friends, community safety teams and kink-aware professionals.
Contract Dynamics: A written agreement setting out the expectations of a dynamic, such as rules, limits and how to renegotiate. It's a communication tool, not a legally binding document.
Curious Roles: New to kink, or to a particular dynamic, and openly exploring what fits. On Encord it's a valid role in its own right. Read: Dom, sub or switch? BDSM roles and dynamics explained
D/s (Dominance and submission) Dynamics: A consensual dynamic in which one person takes the lead and the other chooses to follow. It may or may not involve physical play, and it can last a scene or run through a whole relationship. Read the full guide: What is D/s?
Daddy / Mommy Roles: Dominant archetypes built on warmth and authority between consenting adults. The terms describe a style of care and leadership, not age.
Degradation Play: Consensual verbal or psychological play involving humiliation. It is intensely personal, needs careful negotiation, and is one of the most common hard limits.
Dom / Domme Roles: Short for dominant. "Domme" is often used for women and femme-leaning dominants, though people choose whichever word fits them. Read: How to find a dom (without getting burned)
Dom space Headspace: The focused, often calm and alert headspace some dominants describe during a scene. Researchers have compared it to a state of flow. Read the full guide: What is Subspace?
Dominant Roles: The person who takes the leading role in a consensual power exchange. A good dominant is responsible for the experience they shape, not just in control of it. Read: How to be a good dom: what the job actually is Take the quiz
Drop (sub drop and dom drop) Headspace: An emotional or physical low that can follow an intense scene, sometimes hours or days later. Sadness, tiredness or feeling raw are common, and aftercare and follow-up check-ins help. Read the full guide: What is Drop? Read: BDSM aftercare: what it is and how to ask for it
Dungeon Community & dating: A dedicated space for kink play, either a private room at home or a venue that hosts events. Public dungeons usually have house rules and safety staff.
Dungeon monitor (DM) Community & dating: A volunteer or staff member at a play party who watches for safety issues and makes sure house rules are followed.
Edge play Play: Activities at the riskier end of the spectrum, where the potential for physical or psychological harm is higher. They call for expert knowledge, advanced negotiation and honest risk assessment.
Enthusiastic consent Consent & safety: A model of consent that looks for a clear, willing yes rather than the absence of a no. Hesitation or silence is treated as a reason to pause and ask.
Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) Relationship styles: An umbrella term for relationship styles where everyone involved knows about and agrees to more than one romantic or sexual connection. Polyamory, swinging and open relationships all fall under it.
Exhibitionism Play: Enjoying being watched. Ethical exhibitionism includes the consent of everyone who might see, so it belongs in private settings or at events designed for it.
Fetish Play: A strong focus on a specific object, material, body part or situation. Every fetish is a kink, but not every kink is a fetish. Read: Dom, sub or switch? BDSM roles and dynamics explained
FetLife Community & dating: A social network for the kink community, widely used to find local groups, munches and events.
Handler Roles: The partner who guides, cares for and sets the rules for a pet in pet play. See: Pet play
Hard limit Consent & safety: Something a person won't do under any circumstances. Hard limits aren't up for negotiation and should never be pushed. Read: Hard and soft limits, with a list to start from
Hunter Roles: The pursuing role in primal play: chasing, catching and holding, all by agreement. See: Primal play
Impact play Play: Sensation delivered through controlled strikes, from spanking to paddles and floggers. It relies on knowing where to aim, warming up and reading your partner.
Kink Play: Any sexual interest, fantasy or practice outside what a person or culture considers conventional. Kinks are common and vary hugely from person to person. Read: Dom, sub or switch? BDSM roles and dynamics explained Take the quiz
Kink compatibility Community & dating: How well two people's interests, roles and limits line up. Differences aren't deal-breakers; what matters is whether you can talk about them. Read: How to tell your partner about your kinks Take the quiz
Kink-aware professional (KAP) Community & dating: A therapist, doctor or other professional who understands kink and won't treat consensual practices as a problem in themselves.
Kinkster Community & dating: An informal word for someone who practices or identifies with kink.
Kitchen-table polyamory Relationship styles: A style of polyamory where partners and metamours know each other and are comfortable in the same room, as if sharing a kitchen table.
Masochist Roles: Someone who finds pleasure in receiving consensual pain or intense sensation.
Master / Mistress Roles: Formal honorifics for a dominant, often used in high-protocol or ownership dynamics.
Mentor Community & dating: An experienced community member who helps a newcomer learn skills, etiquette and safety. A good mentor never makes their help conditional on play. Read: What is a munch? Surviving your first one
Monogamish Relationship styles: Mostly monogamous, with agreed exceptions. The details are set by the couple.
Munch Community & dating: A casual, no-pressure social meetup for people interested in kink, usually at a restaurant or bar. Everyone is clothed, nobody plays, and it's the most common first step into a local community. Read: What is a munch? Surviving your first one
Negotiation Consent & safety: The conversation before a scene or dynamic where partners agree on interests, limits, signals, risks and aftercare.
Open relationship Relationship styles: A relationship where partners agree they can date or have sex with other people. The rules vary widely from couple to couple.
Ownership Dynamics: A dynamic in which a submissive consents to being "owned" by a dominant, symbolically and within agreed limits.
Pet play Play: Role play in which one person takes on the traits of an animal, such as a puppy or kitten, often paired with a handler or owner. For many it's more playful and affectionate than sexual.
Play Dynamics: Kink activity in general. "Playing" with someone usually means doing a scene together.
Play partner Dynamics: Someone you do scenes with, whether or not you're romantically involved. Read: Kink dating: how to find, vet and meet a partner
Play party Community & dating: An event where people can play in a shared space under house rules, usually with dungeon monitors and an expectation of watching respectfully.
Polyamory Relationship styles: Having, or being open to, more than one loving relationship at a time, with everyone's knowledge and consent.
Power exchange Dynamics: Any consensual arrangement where one person gives some control to another. It can last a few minutes or underpin a whole relationship. Read the full guide: What is D/s?
Praise kink Play: Finding praise and words of approval intensely rewarding, emotionally or erotically.
Prey Roles: The pursued role in primal play. Any resistance is part of the agreed game, with a safeword or signal for real stops. See: Primal play
PRICK Consent & safety: Personal Responsibility, Informed Consensual Kink: a consent framework that emphasises each person owning their choices and risks. See: SSC
Primal play Play: Instinctive, physical play built around chasing, wrestling, growling and catching, often in hunter and prey roles.
Protocol Dynamics: Agreed rules of behavior within a dynamic, from forms of address to rituals. "High protocol" is formal and detailed; "low protocol" is relaxed.
RACK Consent & safety: Risk-Aware Consensual Kink: a framework that acknowledges all play carries some risk and asks partners to understand and accept it with eyes open. See: SSC
Red flag Consent & safety: A warning sign in a potential partner, such as pushing past a small no, dismissing safewords or demanding secrecy. Read: Red flags in a dom: a vetting guide
Ritual Dynamics: A repeated, meaningful act within a dynamic, like a greeting or a way of ending the day, that reinforces the connection.
Role play Play: Taking on characters or scenarios together, from simple to elaborate. Agreeing on the scenario and an exit beforehand keeps it fun.
Rope Play: Bondage using rope, valued for how it looks and feels as much as for restraint. See: Shibari
Rope bottom Roles: The person being tied. Good rope bottoming is an active skill: noticing numbness, communicating and knowing your body.
Rope top Roles: The person doing the tying, responsible for technique, safety and keeping safety shears within reach.
Sadist Roles: Someone who finds pleasure in giving consensual pain or intense sensation to a willing partner.
Safe call Consent & safety: A plan where a trusted friend knows where you're meeting someone new and expects to hear from you at a set time. Read: How to find a dom (without getting burned)
Safety shears Consent & safety: Blunt-tipped scissors, like those paramedics use, kept within reach during rope play to cut someone free quickly.
Safeword Consent & safety: A word or signal agreed in advance that means "stop" or "pause", no questions asked. It should be easy to say and impossible to mistake for part of the scene. Read the full guide: What is Safeword?
Scene Dynamics: A period of agreed kink play, with a clear start and end.
Sensation play Play: Play focused on how things feel on the skin: textures, temperature, light touch or intensity. It's a common, gentle starting point.
Sensory deprivation Play: Removing or dulling a sense, such as with a blindfold or earplugs, to heighten the others and deepen trust.
Service submission Roles: Expressing submission through acts of service, from making tea to running errands, and finding satisfaction in being useful.
Service top Roles: A top whose focus is their partner's experience, delivering what the bottom wants rather than leading the dynamic.
Shibari Play: A Japanese-influenced style of rope bondage known for its aesthetic patterns and ritual. Also called kinbaku. It takes training to do safely.
Sir Roles: A formal honorific for a dominant, often used alongside protocol.
Soft limit Consent & safety: Something a person is hesitant about but might consider with the right partner, more trust or clear conditions. Soft limits deserve the same respect as hard ones. Read: Hard and soft limits, with a list to start from
SSC Consent & safety: Safe, Sane and Consensual: one of the earliest community frameworks for ethical kink.
Submissive Roles: Someone who chooses to hand over some control within agreed limits. Submission is an active choice, and a submissive's limits shape the whole dynamic. Read: Am I a submissive? What I wish I'd known a year ago Take the quiz
Subspace Headspace: A trance-like, floaty headspace some submissives and bottoms describe during intense play. It can make communication harder, which is why limits and signals are agreed in advance. Read the full guide: What is Subspace?
Swinging Relationship styles: Couples having sexual experiences with other people, together or separately, usually without the romantic involvement of polyamory.
Switch Roles: Someone who enjoys both dominant and submissive roles, depending on the partner, mood or moment. Read: Dom, sub or switch? BDSM roles and dynamics explained Take the quiz
The scene Community & dating: The kink community as a whole, especially its local groups and events.
Top Roles: The person doing the action in a scene, such as tying or spanking. Topping describes the activity, not necessarily who's in charge.
Top space Headspace: Another name for dom space: the focused state some tops describe while leading a scene. Read the full guide: What is Subspace?
Total power exchange (TPE) Dynamics: An extensive power exchange covering most areas of life. Even here, consent remains ongoing and the arrangement can be renegotiated.
Traffic light system Consent & safety: A common set of signals: green means keep going, yellow means slow down or check in, red means stop. Read the full guide: What is Safeword?
Vanilla Roles: Conventional sex or relationships without kink. It's a description, not a judgment, and plenty of kinky people enjoy vanilla intimacy too. Read: How to tell your partner about your kinks
Versatile Roles: Comfortable topping or bottoming depending on the partner, scene or mood.
Vetting Consent & safety: Doing your research on a potential partner before meeting or playing: references, conversation, a video call and community reputation. Read: Red flags in a dom: a vetting guide
Voyeurism Play: Enjoying watching others. Ethical voyeurism only involves people who have agreed to be watched.

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